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Tick Tock (cander)

Patricia Brown's blog

Four Prayers and More!

June 2012 - My breast cancer battle advanced and so did my prayers.

Naturally, I asked to be healed - cancer free.  That would be a miracle.  I do believe that all things are possible.

However, I took pause and thought....really what would I wish for if I could have only four wishes.  The answer bubbled up out of my soul with such ease.

I am my Father's Daugther

Staring back at me was the spitting image of my Father.

Summer 2005, Dad appeared in the mirror early one morning just days after I lost my hair.  I never knew that I looked so much like my Dad.  It took no make-up, wire rimmed glasses and a bald head to achieve the George Redden look.  I must say it was a little shocking to go from being a fairly attractive forty-seven year old female to looking like a seventy year old man.  But I proudly embraced the look.  I think my Dad is a handsome man.

Kick in the Butt

I have one friend who really pushes me. Kelly Cruise

Tough Times

I've been blindsided. 

I did not see the series of disappointments and concerns coming my way.  The daily dose of pain, confusion, and hurt that I've lived through every day since the end of January  has been unbelievably difficult to endure.

Bad news, bad information, bad teeth, and bad timing all happening during bad weather eventually took the sunshine out of my soul.  Sometimes life challenges can be just too much.  I now know how an overwhelmingly bad season feels.  It is hard to smile.  It becomes hard to hold on to faith.  It is hard to even exist.

No Excuses

No Excuses Program Offers Free Breast Cancer Screenings

(Fayetteville, AR) The No Excuses Breast Cancer Outreach Program, a service of Washington Regional Cancer Support Home, will offer free clinical breast exams Friday, Jan. 17, from 3 – 6 p.m. at the Northwest Arkansas Free Health Center located at 1100 North Woolsey Ave. in Fayetteville.

Christmas Came Early

It is the day before Christmas Eve.  It is quiet.  I’m alone thinking.

I am sitting in my office overlooking the corridors of Central Mall watching shoppers hustle to purchase last minute gifts.  Most people don’t look very happy.  

Inside my heart, I’m smiling.  The best Christmas gift for me arrived earlier this month when I watched my twenty-seven year old daughter champion a fear.   The fear of public speaking.

Stable is a Good Thing!

I’m stable.  So I’m told.

During my most recent visits to MD Anderson and Highlands Oncology Group, I was told that stable is a good thing.  The previous two PET scans this year reported that the cancer was shrinking and even some of it was completely gone. I wanted to hear the same good news.  I wanted to hear that I had won the battle and was cancer free.  Instead I learned that the cancer is stable meaning the disease did not appear to be progressing.

Before I can get my happy hat on, I had wrap my head about the meaning of stable.

Here is what I discovered:

Purpose Driven

Each October, I am haunted not by the Halloween costumes and spooky events but by my birthday.

It is with dread that I face my birthday.  I don’t hate having to share my age or staring at my face in the mirror in search of a new wrinkle.  Actually, I am very grateful for the opportunity to advance towards old age.  As for wrinkles, mine have developed mainly from the millions of smiles I’ve shared with so so many people.   Aging isn’t all bad.

I Still Like Pink

Pink has always been my favorite color. 

As a kid, I started painting things pink after my parents and I painted my bedroom hot pink. 

I still love pink. 

In support of breast cancer awareness month, the world turns pink in October, my birth month.  Thankfully, information about the fight against breast cancer is everywhere and supported by many people, corporations, athletic teams, schools, and organizations.  I appreciate all the help! However, October is an emotional month for me. 

HOPE

Hope is the ingredient in life that lifts us out of despair.

Despair is the complete opposite of hope.  It leads to depression and a negative life.

When a person is told, “you have cancer”, it is in that moment you pick your path.  Hope or despair.  Even if the doctor is showing no expression of hope, it is the patient who can choose hope over despair.  I know from experience hope is the better option.  I’ve had my break down spit tears moments but I always return to a hopeful attitude.  Then I feel better.

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