story by Dale Cullins, predictions compiled by David Rice
Editor’s note: Welcome to Tusk to Tail, a special “web reality” presentation of the tailgating experience as organized, performed and perfected by a group of Hog fans who have been tailgating together for more than a decade. Members of the Tusk to Tail Team are Sean Casey, Jack Clark, Dale Cullins, Greg Houser, Craig May, David Rice and Mark Wagner. Link here for the explainer story and the photos and “stats” of the core Tusk to Tail crew. Tusk to Tail is managed by The City Wire and sponsored by Preferred Office Products.
Follow the crew on Twitter — @TuskToTail
I can only think of a couple of things that should start at 11 a.m. on a Saturday and they both involve eating and don’t involve the kick off of a football game.
However, that is the current state of Arkansas Football and that the Hogs have been relegated to the early slot for the next two weeks and beyond if they don’t start winning some games.
This weekend’s game is the first at Kyle Field for the Razorbacks in 21 years and will be the first trip to College Station for 12 of the 14 Tusk to Tail crew going down this weekend. It will be an odd trip in that the Fayetteville crew and the Little Rock crew will take different routes into College Station.
Though the Fayetteville crew does have a longer route to travel, we do have the advantage of having Dallas as one of our stops and we plan to have a great cheeseburger at Keller’s Hamburgers and Beer, right off Interstate 75 in Northeast Dallas. It appears the best thing the Little Rock guys have going for them is a What-A-Burger located in Tyler, Texas.
After spending a few hours over the summer investigating the best place to Tailgate on campus for this game, the early kick-off pretty much negates that planning. We plan to find a spot as close as we can and just set up shop. We still plan to set up a tent as the sun will be out and the temps soaring up to 90 but we will cut back on the frills. Just a TV to catch Game Day, a table for the chicken and biscuits and a cooler.
As this is our first trip we grabbed a Hotel last February right off campus which always helps in getting to and from the venue without having to deal with heavy traffic for early kicks. We also have several eating spots picked out for Dinner Friday Night and for spending time watching other games the rest of Saturday. The list includes La Bodega, Fargo’s BBQ, Koppe Bridge Burgers, and the Dixie Chicken. Full reports to follow on those come Sunday.
I wanted to add a small product recommendation: The Tailgater, a portable satellite dish antenna.
Next to the generator from last week’s article, this has to be the best thing for tailgaters since the e-z up tent. Before, it was necessary to carry the stand and the large dish and with a practiced eye, play “point and shoot” with the dish to find the correct two satellites located on the southwest Horizon. There were also leveling concerns and wind issues to deal with.
Well, not anymore.
One only has to set this small device on a mostly level surface, point the handle to as close as north as you can get and plug it in to the receiver provided as a package. The dish then dials itself in and within 15 minutes of plug in, you are watching programming in HD. The antenna is weather resistant and only weighs 10 pounds to make it extremely portable.
I can say that Dish Network has the least expensive way to get into one of these. Dish subsidizes the cost of the antenna but you can buy one for Direct TV as well. Dish Network also recognizes the nature of the antenna use and allows month to month service so you are not paying for when not in use. The Tusk to Tail crew is a big believer in this new device and will do some further field testing in Texas this week and Alabama next.
Go Hogs, Beat the Aggies!!
TUSK TO TAIL PREDICTIONS AND OTHER ODDITIES
Following are the questions asked of each Tusk to Tail member.
1. Final Score, Arkansas at Texas A&M
2. Razorbacks impact player, and why
3. Where (and when) is Bobby Petrino's next job?
4. What are you looking most forward to on this trip?
5. Pick the winners of these 2 games: Tennessee at Georgia, and Texas at Oklahoma State
1. aTm 45 Arkansas 17. aTm gets their first ever SEC victory. Sumlin will run the score up if he has the opportunity, and he'll have the opportunity.
2. Dennis Johnson. DJ returns one kick off to the house and gets another rushing TD. The fifth year senior becomes Arkansas's primary running back at Arkansas after a 115 yard effort.
3. Petrino's next job will be wherever he can get the biggest salary. I just hope it's not Auburn, Tenner or some other SEC school. The PAC 10 would be a great fit for him. Go west Petrino, go west.
4. Not going to aTm, but I do look forward to soccer from 9 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. I'll promptly return home and watch the Hogs on DVR. I might even try and make some of Dale's famous cheese dip. If the Hogs lose, I do look forward to texting the crew on the way back from College Station.
5. UGA destroys Tenner. Okie Light over the Longhorns.
Bonus: Jack and Greg become depressed immediately after the aTm loss, they choose to stay behind in College Station and become aTm Yell Leaders.
1. Final score: I've been wrong all season, let's hope that continues. Aggies 42, Hogs 30
2. Razorback impact player: We learn this week that our coaching staff does in fact listen to the radio call in shows. Fans have been begging for Dennis Johnson
and this week he gets the majority of the carries.
3. Petrino's next job: Wherever Jeff Long ISN'T working.
4. Looking forward to: At last, a road game. THIS is why I love being a part of Tusk to Tail. When the Hogs are at home, we tailgate and then go our separate ways to the game. But on the road we all get to sit together. I'm not going to say we are better fans than others, but I challenge ANYONE to find a more dedicated group. Gosh, Greg Houser commuted back and forth from Omaha during the CWS just to see the Hogs play. That's dedication.
5. Georgia 34 Tennessee 17 and Texas 40 OK St. 14
Bonus predictions: Mark and Jim will insist that we lunch at Joe T. Garcia's, quite possibly the coolest place to eat, but definitely the worst food on the planet. The Rookie will have texted us so much by halftime that he will develop carpal tunnel syndrome. Mulcahey and his father will be eating at Joe T. Garcia's (in Fort Worth) by the start of the 4th quarter.
1. Final Score: Hope I'm wrong, don't want to be A&M's first conference victory, A&M 31 - Hogs 24
2. Razorbacks impact player: Tyler Wilson throws for 3 touchdowns and 418 yards in a losing effort
3. Petrino's next job: I could see KY or AU but I bet it's a bit of a step down, say Texas Tech or Colorado
4. Looking most forward to: Some good food, time with the crew and Kyle Field Atmosphere (Notice I didn't say the game.).
5. Pick the winners: Georgia 24 to 17 and Texas 38 to 35
Bonus predictions: I think Jack will be the first to drip cheese dip on his shirt and Todd will eat the most chicken fingers.
1. Final Score: I called myself a homer. No sense in stopping now. 35-31 Ark
2. Razorbacks impact player: Defense. Haynes & Johnson will give the boys a scheme to come up with 2 or 3 plays that give us the ball back.
3. Petrino's next job: As an announcer. That personality and charm will get him on NBC's new aggressive college football venture! Both are gonna shine, I can feel it!
4. What are you looking most forward to on this trip? The chance to see Kyle Field. Never been there. I still get a kick out of watching their band. It's also time to switch it up and take advantage of some Texas barbecue!
5. Pick the winners: I'll take Georgia, but close. Texas uses size to muscle Okie St. I like Texas by 2 touchdowns. Bonus predictions: Craig will be stopped by Sheriff Buford T Justice of Texarkana, Texas, and will be remanded to the authorities. His excessive speeding will be a clear sign that he is running as a blocker for the Snowman. The others will be let go. We will have a great time in College Station and Cadets will flock to Jack Clark to hear about his Military days. Just imagine little kids camped out underneath ole Jack's feet telling bedtime stories!
1. 42-21 Texas A&M
2. Dylan Breeding – He comes to play every game and gets plenty of work.
3. University of Kentucky in 2013. I don’t think Tenn or Auburn will take a chance on him.
4. Looking forward to the crowd singing the Aggie War Hymn. After the second verse, Aggie fans link their arms and legs, and sway left and right to replicate the motion of a saw blade; this is called "sawing Varsity's horns off" and causes the entire west upper deck, including the press box, to sway.
Bonus: Mulcahey will depart Little Rock solo at 4:30 am on game day; arrive at Kyle Field 5 minutes prior to kickoff. Once the Aggies get ahead by 10 points or more he’ll declare the game a blow out and head back to Little Rock for a late dinner with his wife.
1. Final score: My sports writer friend predicted 63-29, Aggies. He does this for a living.
2. Impact player: Dennis Johnson. We try to play "keep away" from A&M's potent offense. Rain only adds more carries.
3. Petrino's next job will be a poolboy for Jim Lindsey's apartments. If you have seen more than two porno movies, you know why.
4. This is the only trip to Kyle Field until 2025 at the earliest. Nothing beats a good road trip.
5. Georgia looks much better than Tennessee, but maybe OK State can upset the Horns.
Bonus: A new ritual is born: shooting the Hog. Details to follow.
1. This will be the first time this year that I'm predicting that my beloved Razorbacks will not be victorious. A&M - 42 Arkansas - 38
2. Mr. Johnson. He finally gets some carries and is the star of the game for the Hogs. Unfortunately after a big first quarter for Dennis, Paul Petrino decides that since we are behind in the game, he will run out the clock by throwing on every down.
3. In an ironic twist of fate, Petrino will take the job at Weber State, where the Wildcats are currently 0-4. He will turn the program around, making them a powerhouse in the Big Sky Conference. After his first season, he will stop recruiting completely and rely on his new special teams coach, John L. Smith, to get the talent they need to compete, while Petrino checks out some stuff he heard about it being OK to have multiple wives in Utah.
4. Seeing how many times the Godfather gets pulled over and talks his way out of a ticket.
5. Georgia puts it on Tenn winning big at home, by a score of 42-17. Texas is to much for Okie State. The Cowboys have no answer for the horns as Texas returns last years favor by beating State by the same score Texas lost by in Austin. Final - Texas 38, State - 26.
I also predict that while en route, Jack will spend more time in the restrooms than anyone else and destroy at least two mattress company outlets in the process. I predict that Todd will not like anywhere we eat unless they are serving Tyson chicken, and finally I predict that if we do somehow win this game that most Arkansas fans will believe that maybe the Mayans were correct after all.
Todd Rudisill (JUCO tailgate transfer)
1. Final Score: Hogs 34 Ags 31. Hogs get away from all the negativity in the state and are more focused in Texas. Clear eyes. Full hearts.
2. Razorbacks impact player: A defensive walk on player to be named later. Why? Because he shows our defensive backs how to turn their heads around.
3. Petrino's next job: Arkansas. Doesn't everyone know that already by reading the message boards?
4. Looking most forward to: The early kickoff so we can watch good football the rest of the day at a local sports bar
5. Pick the winners: UGA and Texas
Bonus predictions: Greg will think we are at the Liberty Bowl by mid 2nd quarter. I will wear headphones at bed time so I miss the snore symphony concert.
The man Mulcahey (the Godfather's anonymous, yet snarky, consigliere)
1. I don't have it in me to pick against the Hogs this week, but I am not optimistic.
2. Impact player(s): Has to be the O-line and D-line for us to have a chance.
3. Petrino's next job: Next year outside the SEC ... hopefully.
4. Most looking forward to: getting away from Arkansas sports talk radio.
5. Winners: Georgia. Can't pick Texas.
Bonus: Jack and Greg are excited to be on the road. Once at the tailgate, the two are astonished to see a predominately male Aggie Nation. Not knowing how to act, Jack and Greg engage in an awkward man crush wrestling match that makes the rest of the tusk to tail bunch uncomfortable.