What Can I Do to Help?

At a time of crisis, friends, family, and co-workers ask, "What can I do to help?" The human spirit wants to reach out and lift up a person in need.  People want to do something to make it better.

Answering the question of how I can be helped was difficult at best.  For me, it used to be hard for two reasons.  One, I am a giver.  Receiving “help” was a new skill I had to develop during my first breast cancer battle. And I must say, I finally became comfortable with “help”.  People enjoyed giving to me.  It made them happy especially if they gave me something that they would want or need if they were in my situation.  Second, I did not know what to ask for.  Help is tied to time and treasure.  Who am I to spend a person’s resources?

Troubled over wanting to help people help me, sent me on a quest for a solution.  That is when it hit me!  People show love differently.  I learned that after reading The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.  My solution was to develop a list of my needs according to The 5 Love Languages.  Then it became easy to answer the question.  The net result was incredible.  For two years, people surrounded me with love and met every one of my needs.  They were joyful givers and I learned how to receive graciously. 

The next time you need help, I encourage you to make a list based on The 5 Love Languages.  It takes the pressure off everyone and generates a lot of joy for both the giver and the receiver.

Here is my list when I was going through a breast cancer battle...the first time. Thankfully this current battle I feel good and can still work.  Please know I am not writing this blog seeking help.  I did it to help others to see how easy and graceful seeking assistance can be.   Hopefully, it will help you in creating your own list if you are in any kind of battle.

Words of Affirmation
• Prayers
• Phone calls
• Facebook posts
• Text messages
• E-mails * Letters * Cards
• Magazines * Books * CDs * DVDs
• Make Me Laugh
• Listen to Me

Physical Touch
• Hugs
• Hold my hand
• Sit with me
• Massages
• Facials
• Manicures & Pedicures

Acts of Service
• Prepare meals
• Go grocery shopping
• Help me clean my house
• Plant a rose bush in my yard
• Take care of my car

Quality Time
• Come and see me
• Walk with me
• Go with me to doctor appointments
• Sit with me when needed
• Take me out for fun
• Take my daughter out for some fun – (malls are her favorite place – lol)

Gifts
• Sponsor medical co-pays
• Flowers
• Cute Hats
• Wigs & pony tails
• Shoes